WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #84 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
WHAT IS TOO MUCH FOR A MIDLIFE FRIEND TO ASK?
Is there such a thing as too much?
Is there ever a time when enough is enough?
What is too much for a friend to ask of you?
Under what circumstances will you tell a friend enough is enough because
she has asked too much?
Do you exempt any friends from your too much or enough is enough policy?
Since the double milestone of menopausal mayhem and aging angst,
have you changed what is enough?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
The double milestone is the perfect time to pose, ponder and, when ready, answer
questions. This process enhances insight.
UNHOMEWORK
Here are potentially uncomfortable, but important questions:
Are friends actually asking too much, or is it that you are limited in
what you are able to give? Be specific.
Are friends actually asking too much, or is it that your are limited in
what you are willing to give? Be specific.
.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Are you the one asking too much ...?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly. If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you
will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
ARE PSYCHIC ABILITIES A MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENT?
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #83 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
ARE PSYCHIC ABILITIES A MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENT?
Do friends know what you want and need from them?
Do you know what friends want and need from you?
Some folks with advanced psychic abilities are supposedly able to read minds.
Imagine having a skill that makes it unnecessary to ask uncomfortable
questions or have dreaded discussions.
On the other hand, do you really want to know what goes on in the minds of others?
For us non-psychics, we have a choice.
Either sharpen psychic abilities or have frank discussions with friends concerning
needs, wants, changes, ...
During the double milestone, neither choice suits us.
Why?
- We are not in the mood
- We fear the consequences
Instead, we make assumptions.
- We assume to know what friends want and need.
- We assume friends know what we want and need.
How's that working out for you?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Have you heard what happens when we assume?
It makes an ... (fill in the blank) out of u and me
Obviously, it's never a good idea.
UNHOMEWORK
What assumptions do you make?
Do you assume friends want and need the same things you do? Give details.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
The consequences we fear the most are ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly. If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will
automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com.@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.' Keep scrolling all the
way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp
Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #83 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
ARE PSYCHIC ABILITIES A MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENT?
Do friends know what you want and need from them?
Do you know what friends want and need from you?
Some folks with advanced psychic abilities are supposedly able to read minds.
Imagine having a skill that makes it unnecessary to ask uncomfortable
questions or have dreaded discussions.
On the other hand, do you really want to know what goes on in the minds of others?
For us non-psychics, we have a choice.
Either sharpen psychic abilities or have frank discussions with friends concerning
needs, wants, changes, ...
During the double milestone, neither choice suits us.
Why?
- We are not in the mood
- We fear the consequences
Instead, we make assumptions.
- We assume to know what friends want and need.
- We assume friends know what we want and need.
How's that working out for you?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Have you heard what happens when we assume?
It makes an ... (fill in the blank) out of u and me
Obviously, it's never a good idea.
UNHOMEWORK
What assumptions do you make?
Do you assume friends want and need the same things you do? Give details.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
The consequences we fear the most are ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly. If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will
automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com.@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.' Keep scrolling all the
way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp
Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
ARE YOUR YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENTS BEING MET?
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #82 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
ARE YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENTS BEING MET?
Are your friendship requirements being met?
This question leads to more questions.
Reminder: All questions are designed to clarify thoughts and gain insight.
Preliminary questions:
1. What are your friendship requirements?
2. Have you expressed your requirements to friends?
3. What feedback did you receive?
Strategy questions:
4. What is the plan if friends do not meet your requirements?
5. What is the plan for fulfilling your friends' requirements of you?
Gulp! More things to think about.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Puzzling question:
6. Is there anyone who believes friendships are easy - especially during the double milestone
of menopausal mayhem and aging angst?
UNHOMEWORK
One additional question.
7. Do you distinguish between friendship expectations and requirements?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
(another question!)
Is psychic ability one of your friendship requirements ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly. If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you
will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' 2012.' Keep scrolling all the way
to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #82 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
ARE YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENTS BEING MET?
Are your friendship requirements being met?
This question leads to more questions.
Reminder: All questions are designed to clarify thoughts and gain insight.
Preliminary questions:
1. What are your friendship requirements?
2. Have you expressed your requirements to friends?
3. What feedback did you receive?
Strategy questions:
4. What is the plan if friends do not meet your requirements?
5. What is the plan for fulfilling your friends' requirements of you?
Gulp! More things to think about.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Puzzling question:
6. Is there anyone who believes friendships are easy - especially during the double milestone
of menopausal mayhem and aging angst?
UNHOMEWORK
One additional question.
7. Do you distinguish between friendship expectations and requirements?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
(another question!)
Is psychic ability one of your friendship requirements ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly. If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you
will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' 2012.' Keep scrolling all the way
to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENTS
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #81 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENTS
Ideally:
We have expressed our midlife friendship expectations to friends.
We have listened to our friends' expectations of us
Reality:
Some of us have followed through with those plans.
And, others are waiting for .... ?
Once friendship expectations have been addressed, there's more. Oh goody!
We move to the next level - friendship requirements.
Requirements are deal breakers, bottom lines, must-haves.
We all have requirements.
Not all of us enforce* them, all of the time.
Do you?
*Enforce = ending friendships if requirements are not met.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
As we journey through the double milestone, deal breakers, bottom lines and must-haves,
are likely to change. Have yours?
UNHOMEWORK
Identify your friendship requirements.
What must your friendships have (or not have) in order to survive?
What must your friendships have (or not have) in order to deepen and grow?
Do you enforce these requirements?
Do you make exceptions? For whom? Why?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Additional friendship requirements include ...?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, the earlier Midlife Memos,
including 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #81 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REQUIREMENTS
Ideally:
We have expressed our midlife friendship expectations to friends.
We have listened to our friends' expectations of us
Reality:
Some of us have followed through with those plans.
And, others are waiting for .... ?
Once friendship expectations have been addressed, there's more. Oh goody!
We move to the next level - friendship requirements.
Requirements are deal breakers, bottom lines, must-haves.
We all have requirements.
Not all of us enforce* them, all of the time.
Do you?
*Enforce = ending friendships if requirements are not met.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
As we journey through the double milestone, deal breakers, bottom lines and must-haves,
are likely to change. Have yours?
UNHOMEWORK
Identify your friendship requirements.
What must your friendships have (or not have) in order to survive?
What must your friendships have (or not have) in order to deepen and grow?
Do you enforce these requirements?
Do you make exceptions? For whom? Why?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Additional friendship requirements include ...?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, the earlier Midlife Memos,
including 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
MIDLIFE MAGIC FOR THE NEW YEAR
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #80 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE MAGIC FOR THE NEW YEAR
Another year has passed.
A new one is opening before us.
Did you make resolutions?
For most double milestoners, we don't make promises anymore.
Why bother.
We never seem to keep them.
At this point in our lives, we can no longer trick ourselves into believing our own promises.
Is this a good thing?
Was it better to believe that we would accomplish specific goals each new year?
Perhaps the problem was they were always the same old, tired resolutions.
You know the ones: lose 10 lbs, practice yoga, read the classics, blah, blah, blah.
What if we give ourselves a fresh start to this New Year.
Throw out the word 'resolution.'
Think in terms of giving yourself a gift.
This year, give yourself the gift of doing at least one magical thing.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Of course, if we resolve to do at least one magical thing, we have to define magical. Ahhhh!
I will leave that to you.
CLUE: I purposefully did not use special or wonderful. Been there, done that with past resolutions.
Don't you agree we need something magical while journeying through menopausal mayhem and aging angst?
UNHOMEWORK
Are you going to give yourself the gift of doing at least one magical thing this year?
If yes, you are off to a great start.
No pressure. Allow yourself the time and space to define magical.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Are you keeping your midlife friendships in the New Year ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #80 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE MAGIC FOR THE NEW YEAR
Another year has passed.
A new one is opening before us.
Did you make resolutions?
For most double milestoners, we don't make promises anymore.
Why bother.
We never seem to keep them.
At this point in our lives, we can no longer trick ourselves into believing our own promises.
Is this a good thing?
Was it better to believe that we would accomplish specific goals each new year?
Perhaps the problem was they were always the same old, tired resolutions.
You know the ones: lose 10 lbs, practice yoga, read the classics, blah, blah, blah.
What if we give ourselves a fresh start to this New Year.
Throw out the word 'resolution.'
Think in terms of giving yourself a gift.
This year, give yourself the gift of doing at least one magical thing.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Of course, if we resolve to do at least one magical thing, we have to define magical. Ahhhh!
I will leave that to you.
CLUE: I purposefully did not use special or wonderful. Been there, done that with past resolutions.
Don't you agree we need something magical while journeying through menopausal mayhem and aging angst?
UNHOMEWORK
Are you going to give yourself the gift of doing at least one magical thing this year?
If yes, you are off to a great start.
No pressure. Allow yourself the time and space to define magical.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Are you keeping your midlife friendships in the New Year ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
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