MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP PARTY

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #55 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP PARTY



Are you claiming you're not ready to release the pain of a lost friendship, aka being dumped?
Oh yes, you are.
How?
With a Pity Party?

DIRECTIONS:
1. Put aside one hour of uninterrupted time.
2. Set an alarm clock to ring after one hour.
3. During the designated time, focus solely on feelings related to being dumped.

4. Let it out.
Express yourself:
- cry, yell, punch pillows, whatever works.
- talk to your friend's picture, say everything
- on paper, write down all your feelings

When time is up, STOP.

5. Let it rip.
Take the paper on which you wrote your feelings:
- shred it
- burn it (safely, please)
- put it in a garbage disposal

6. Let it go.
As the written words disappear, give yourself shout - outs:
- soothing affirmations
- accolades
- cheers for a job well done

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
If you need more time to spend on your Pity Party, take it.
But first, it is mandatory to answer the following question:
- How much time are you willing to give up to wallow (yes, wallow) over a lost relationship?

MORE FOOD FOR THOUGHT
This is a simple Pity Party.
In depth Pity Parties are beyond the scope of this setting.

However, strategies for coping with double milestone friendship frenzy, including
guided Pity Parties, are available in my upcoming book,
Help! I Am Surrounded By Bitches: The Swamp Goddess Guide To
Friendship Frenzy Amid Menopausal Mayhem And Aging Angst .

UNHOMEWORK
Plan your Pity Party.
Gather your supplies:
- picture of your friend
- pen and paper
- alarm clock
- affirmations, accolades, cheers

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... it is time to rejoice ...


HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe, ' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com


NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially The Birth of Swamp Goddess. I bet you will relate.







...****

I AM SO OVER THIS MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #54 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
I AM SO OVER THIS MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP

"I am so over you!"
Are you ready to say these words to the friend who dumped you?
Why? Why not?

IF YOU ARE over the pain and loss of a friendship:
- what did you do to let go?
- what strategies were effective; what strategies were not effective?
- how much time did the process of letting go take?

IF YOU STILL feel deeply hurt by the loss of a friendship:
- what did you do to let go? anything at all?
- why do you think your attempts to let go were ineffective?
- what strategies are you planning to do next?
- how much time have you allowed for letting go?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Of course, the end of a friendship can not be ignored.
Being dumped hurts.
However ...
Time and energy are precious as we journey through the double milestone.
Determine how much time and energy you are willing to spend (squander)
on a friend who does not want a relationship with you?

UNHOMEWORK
Focus on joy:
List three (or more) joyful ways to spend your time.
List three (or more) joyful ways to spend your energy.
Do at least one of these joyful activities a day.
Compare and contrast:
What is better - joyful activity or mournful moping?
We all know the answer - Right???

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... let's party ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:              drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:       www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES,  click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.

NO CHANCE FOR A MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG # 53 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
NO CHANCE FOR A MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP

Hopefully, you had a wonderful 'prepare for summer' shopping break.
It's time to get back to friendship frenzy.

Let's review:
Our current topic  - getting dumped by a friend. SIGH!
She wants to end the friendship - we don't.
Our friend has rejected all attempts to repair the relationship.

We question:
What happened to this friendship?
Why did we think the friendship was solid when our friend did not?
How do we handle the pain and shock caused by our friend's actions?

Frankly:
We thought we were the only ones deciding whether or not
to end friendships.
We learned the hard way that our friends are busy with their
own decision making?

Solution:
It is awful to be left with unexpected pain.
What can we do?
We do the only thing possible - LET GO!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Letting go allows us to create room to invite new, quality friends into our lives.

UNHOMEWORK
Design a strategy to let go.
It is essential to include a time frame.
Specify how long it will take you to let go.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... I am so over you ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to Midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.  Keep scrolling all the way
to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.

MIDLIFE MEMOS SHOPPING PAUSE

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #52 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE MEMOS SHOPPING PAUSE


One more week of enjoying late spring seems like a terrific idea.
Pausing from our friendship 'stuff' helps clarify our thoughts and feelings.

On the other hand:
Here's a dilemma that may crop up while you are preparing for summer:
You and a friend go shopping for swimwear.
As usual, both of you try on dozens of swimsuits.

Finally,
Your friend decides to purchase a suit that is very unflattering
to her figure.

AN IMPORTANT FRIENDSHIP QUESTION:
If your friend asks, will you give your honest opinion? Why? Why not?
If your friend does not ask, will you still provide feedback? Why? Why not?

THE MOST IMPORTANT FRIENDSHIP QUESTION:
Do you want your friend's honest opinion concerning how your
swimsuit looks on your figure? Why? Why not?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Knowing what boundaries we can cross and those we cannot are integral to
friendships.

UNHOMEWORK
Take the swim wear challenge.
When you put on a swimsuit:
 - Pay attention to your inner dialogue.
 - Is it positive or negative?
 - Resist the urge to make negative comments about your body.
 - Instead, focus on the positives.
 - Give yourself at least one compliment.
The more positives the better.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC 
Next week our break is over. We resume the friendship frenzy
of menopausal mayhem and aging angst:
... no second chance, now what ... ?


HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:             drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:       www.facebook/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.