WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG # 51 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP PAUSE
For quite some time, we have been intensely scrutinizing our friendships.
Let's pause.
UNHOMEWORK
Relax and celebrate the unofficial beginning of summer.
Yay!!!!
Maybe spend time shopping for swim wear.
Or not.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
For most of us, trying on bathing suits in lighted, mirrored rooms
is not a relaxing or celebratory event.
If it is, I am impressed.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP SECOND CHANCE?
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #50 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP SECOND CHANCE?
Have you been dumped?
Has a friend told you the relationship is finished?
How do we handle the unexpected pain of it all?
What if we want the friendship to continue?
OPTIONS
* If your friend offered a plan to repair the friendship:
- you can agree to conform to her idea
or
- you can offer a plan of your own.
*If your friend has not offered a plan to repair the friendship:
- you can ask to work together on strategies to save the relationship.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Your friend may refuse to give you an explanation. OWWW!
Nor is she interested in repairing the relationship. GEESH!
In this case, her actions speak very loudly. IT'S OVER!
UNHOMEWORK
In the event your friend is interested in repairing the friendship, write up
a plan.
Is your friendship plan balanced?
Does your plan include proposals you will not, can not keep?
Will your friend agree to the plan? Why?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... an ex encounter - awkward, painful, easy ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www. drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www. facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #50 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP SECOND CHANCE?
Have you been dumped?
Has a friend told you the relationship is finished?
How do we handle the unexpected pain of it all?
What if we want the friendship to continue?
OPTIONS
* If your friend offered a plan to repair the friendship:
- you can agree to conform to her idea
or
- you can offer a plan of your own.
*If your friend has not offered a plan to repair the friendship:
- you can ask to work together on strategies to save the relationship.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Your friend may refuse to give you an explanation. OWWW!
Nor is she interested in repairing the relationship. GEESH!
In this case, her actions speak very loudly. IT'S OVER!
UNHOMEWORK
In the event your friend is interested in repairing the friendship, write up
a plan.
Is your friendship plan balanced?
Does your plan include proposals you will not, can not keep?
Will your friend agree to the plan? Why?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... an ex encounter - awkward, painful, easy ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www. drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www. facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP SHOCKER
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG # 49 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP SHOCKER
Oh no, she didn't.
Oh no, she wouldn't.
Oh no, she couldn't.
Yes, she did.
Yes, she would.
Yes, she could.
Without warning (or so it seems), a friend ends our friendship.
It is a shock because we never thought this relationship was in trouble.
In fact, we considered the friendship 'solid' and want it to continue.
However ...
Our friend had a different idea.
She chose to let go.
OUCH! Being dumped hurts.
When we are not prepared, somehow the pain feels sharper.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
All of us know friendships are shaky during menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
No need for paranoia, but - expect the unexpected.
UNHOMEWORK
Has your friend offered a reason for ending the friendship?
Is her reason valid? Explain.
What was your reaction?
Did you attempt to change her mind? In what ways?
How far would you go to save this friendship?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... Is there a chance for midlife friends to ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG # 49 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP SHOCKER
Oh no, she didn't.
Oh no, she wouldn't.
Oh no, she couldn't.
Yes, she did.
Yes, she would.
Yes, she could.
Without warning (or so it seems), a friend ends our friendship.
It is a shock because we never thought this relationship was in trouble.
In fact, we considered the friendship 'solid' and want it to continue.
However ...
Our friend had a different idea.
She chose to let go.
OUCH! Being dumped hurts.
When we are not prepared, somehow the pain feels sharper.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
All of us know friendships are shaky during menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
No need for paranoia, but - expect the unexpected.
UNHOMEWORK
Has your friend offered a reason for ending the friendship?
Is her reason valid? Explain.
What was your reaction?
Did you attempt to change her mind? In what ways?
How far would you go to save this friendship?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... Is there a chance for midlife friends to ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
DO MIDLIFE FRIENDS HAVE RIGHTS?
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #48 by Wendy Kyman Ph.D.
DO MIDLIFE FRIENDS HAVE RIGHTS?
Do we have a right to ask for 'things' from our friends?
What 'things?'
Do our friends have a right to ask 'things' from us?
What 'things?'
Let's get specific ...
Is it acceptable to ask a friend to change a behavior?
For example, would you ask a friend to:
stop smoking
stop drinking
stop lying
other ...
Is it acceptable for a friend to ask you to change a behavior?
For example, if a friend asked, would you:
stop smoking
stop drinking
stop lying
other ...
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Asking is different from demanding.
Demanding with consequences is an ultimatum - an either/or -
"Either you stop .... or I will ...
UNHOMEWORK
Has a friend ever issued you an ultimatum?
How did you respond?
Would you respond the same way again?
Why? Why not?
Have you ever issued an ultimatum to a friend?
Would you do it again? Why? Why not?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... oh no she didn't ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly. If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will
automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #48 by Wendy Kyman Ph.D.
DO MIDLIFE FRIENDS HAVE RIGHTS?
Do we have a right to ask for 'things' from our friends?
What 'things?'
Do our friends have a right to ask 'things' from us?
What 'things?'
Let's get specific ...
Is it acceptable to ask a friend to change a behavior?
For example, would you ask a friend to:
stop smoking
stop drinking
stop lying
other ...
Is it acceptable for a friend to ask you to change a behavior?
For example, if a friend asked, would you:
stop smoking
stop drinking
stop lying
other ...
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Asking is different from demanding.
Demanding with consequences is an ultimatum - an either/or -
"Either you stop .... or I will ...
UNHOMEWORK
Has a friend ever issued you an ultimatum?
How did you respond?
Would you respond the same way again?
Why? Why not?
Have you ever issued an ultimatum to a friend?
Would you do it again? Why? Why not?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... oh no she didn't ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly. If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will
automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP - GIVE AND TAKE
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #47 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP - GIVE AND TAKE
Are you continuing to view your friendships from your friends' perspectives?
How is it going?
Have any of your friends issued ultimatums?
A friend may ask you to change a behavior in order to keep
the friendship.
Is there anything you are willing to change?
What? For Whom? Why?
A friend may ask you to give up another relationship in order to
keep the friendship.
Is there anyone you are willing to give up?
Who? For Whom? Why?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Obviously, compromise is essential in all relationships.
There is always give and take.
The challenge:
To find the right balance between the giving and the taking.
UNHOMEWORK
Are you more of a giver or taker?
Explain.
Have you noticed a change in what you are willing to give since the
double milestone of menopausal mayhem and aging angst?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... do we have a right to ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier posts, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #47 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP - GIVE AND TAKE
Are you continuing to view your friendships from your friends' perspectives?
How is it going?
Have any of your friends issued ultimatums?
A friend may ask you to change a behavior in order to keep
the friendship.
Is there anything you are willing to change?
What? For Whom? Why?
A friend may ask you to give up another relationship in order to
keep the friendship.
Is there anyone you are willing to give up?
Who? For Whom? Why?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Obviously, compromise is essential in all relationships.
There is always give and take.
The challenge:
To find the right balance between the giving and the taking.
UNHOMEWORK
Are you more of a giver or taker?
Explain.
Have you noticed a change in what you are willing to give since the
double milestone of menopausal mayhem and aging angst?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... do we have a right to ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier posts, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
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